when I met you...

everytime I smell the humid summer air
I remember how we first met
the warm breeze blowing over the lake
and the sight of you.
There are a million things in this life I can loose.
I can lose my favorite shirt, though I would be sad if it were gone.
and I'd give up the chance to live forever,  I'd hardly want to live, but I'd go on.
but I can't lose you, that funny little smile that makes me want you
you may as well kill me if we are through
I could never live if I lost you!

Alone

Suddenly my mind explodes in thoughts
my feet don't meet the ground
it feels as though I have not been aloud just to feel
for once in this life I want to know what is real!

-- I take a seat near the window, clumsily, my mind tries to unwind itself among the falling snow.
So much goes on around me. So many tasks need to be done, so many clocks need winding-- though I am so surrounded I feel so alone.
...I hang onto the belief that I will someday follow through...
I'm never alone when I am with You!

His Eyes-- (written a long time ago)

I'm Lost--
in a sea of shiney blues, and timid greens
A puzzle of glittering stars, freckle the horizon.
I have been stolen away by glimpses.
I have drown in the beauty of you.
Your simple smile is the sun, lights my life and brings hope to the darkest of days.
Your voice is the gentle breese that calms my fears and refreshes my soul.

...and whatever my heart has always sung...is You!

untitled (written in 2004)

Intertwined in boundaries broken
Forevermore - no more - alone
My heart drinks the liquor of you...
drunk and poisioned with disbelief...
I want to have you
all to myself-
to run away
and never be found.
To escape, if even for a moment,
and land in your embrace...
I want to end up lost...in your eyes.
But this I cannot attain, this, I fear, is impossible.
I cannot have you
I cannot win you
I cannot get lost in your eyes,
because you don't love me.
so forever I will dream of the impossible with you.

Heart of rain

Heart of Rain...
My heart is made of rain
and out of it drips
a passion that refreshes...
drenching dead days and dead lands.

This rain pours fourth vision,
pours forth compassion,
pours forth strength,
to a dry and weary land.
Like a rain-cloud thrashes water upon the earth,
my heart consumes all it meets with soaking love.
I want to refresh,
from within, I want to outpour
into the lives and the hearts of others
too dry to be drenched...
Soak them in Love so lovely,
and passion so real,
they wont know waht hit them.
Like a lightening storm,
blasting hearts with vision!

What the Angels see... (a supernatural occurance...November 2006)

Bursting through the pinkened sky...
I keep on going High, and High, and High!
suddenly I stop, theres a golden gate
it opens, and I am ushered into the estate.
A golden alter in-front, a golden gate behind
and wonderment wandering through my mind.
I look around to see what can be found
All I notice is I walked on Holy Ground.
Then, the Golden Alter is before me
I laid down, to see what I could see
suddenly, ther was something above
Could it be the truest Love?
I saw this thing above me was
a certain kind of golden dust.
falling on my cheeks, like rain.
again, again, again.
Where these drops would fall, gold appeared, on me
I thought to myself, " How can this be?"
Then a figure came walking towards
and in His hands, were golden swords.
I looked at Him with pure delight
and asked "Will you take my life tonite?"
He looked at me and said with glee.
"I have come to make you free.
I have come to make you new,
to give your life a golden hue.
I have given you a glimpse of me
so you can see what angels see.
And know my love so right, and true
and know why I shed this blood for you."

-- Lord show me, what the angels see
Oh God reveal, your holiness to me
Unveil my eyes, restore my vision
till I can see an open heaven...
I'm drawing nearer, I'm drawing nearer to you
into the unseen, into the unseen with you
into the unkown, where I have never been
into the unknown, where I have never been with you...
I'm going up, Im going in...
into the unseen
i'm going up
into the unkown
im going into the unknown...with You!
where I have never been before
things i've not seen before
Spirit of wisodom and revelation is here
One thing I desire, to behold the beauty of my God.
The beauty of my God!

Silent

silent are my thoughts of you now
as they creep through my head
I wont have them any longer!
Loud are the memories quicky fading away
like a sunset on a winters day,
bold and vibrant, but is gone in a flash
it was good while it lasted!
So I will hold in my heart,
all the times i've treasured
put them all in jars in my mind,
waiting for them to gather dust.
I will go back to them someday,
as i sort through my mind,
and there you'll be
a dusty reminder
of all I tried to put to rest.
I don't want to hold you anymroe!!

Casting Crowns

Let this crown fall to the ground
and be cast into the sea
let it drift around, around
and may my pride, with it, be

How vast the ocean was
that day, I cast my crown to thee
and on that see was golden fuzz
so there I was set free
I sang, I danced, I laughed, I cried,
the day my pride stood still
I sent them all to you, in the tide
shifting mine into your will
and while I danced I felt your hand
lock hand in hand with mine
now I fully understand
Your love is all divine
We sang, we danced, we laughed, we cried,
among the waves that day
then from the tide
you made my crown, I will never turn away!

Emotions Exposed

I am filled with anticipation
ready to set sail
ready to launch
readly to let myself go.
I am sure of myself.
This time I will let my hair down a little
this time I will dance
this time I dive in
I will let you guide me
Let me know you
let me see you
let me watch you sparkle.
I want to know every move of your eyes
and the shape your smile makes
I want to memorize your face.
I want to know what makes you tick
what makes you scream
what makes you cry.
I want to make you laugh
I want to hear you giggle
and I want to see you by my side.
Do I dare let you in?
Can I open myself?
Put your arms around me
and let me believe that I am somone else.
Cause I would only doubt myself.
Tell me its real,
this feeling that I feel.
Maybe this time I wont be so scared
Maybe this time I will allow myself to believe
Maybe after all this time
we will be aloud to be,
Maybe...
I think I really like you...

Hiding...

I wish I could say,
All the things I feel inside.
I wish I could play
you a song that describes
all i want to give.

But it's all just a fake,
And it's all just a game.
You see, the real me,
all the parts that go,
hiding.
The Love that rescued this girl
Is the love that I desire to convey.

Romance Me...

Romance me,
My sweet embraceable you..
light up the storm in this life, and love the peices of me
that are dying to be free.
I want to be accepted!
But you see me for me, not for all my ugly parts. all the grand facades.
I'll take off the mask, revealing my shame, revealing my name.
I am so afraid of going wrong, so afraid of straying off the straight and narrow.
I want to be set free, I want to see the parts of me I know can really gleam, I'm ready to see you, ready to see you!!
I'm ready to let loose for you!

I know you look at me with imagination, make me fully yours so I will move in mighty ways for You!!

Perhaps...

There are so many words I cannot say
So many feelings I cannot express,
My face a blank canvas,
My heart an open book.
Look into me, please!
You will see all you are missing
all you long to hold close to you,
you will find your desire.

Can I be these things to you?
Can you ever see me the way I crave to be seen?
Can you love me the way I need to be loved?
I don't know if you can.
Perhaps I am deceived!
Perhaps you aren't all I've ever wanted.
Perhaps I don't need you!
Perhaps I really dont seee you the way I used to!
Perhaps, no, Certainly, there is someone better!!

morning revelation

Pull back the curtains
revealing the brilliant light of morning,
revive my every part.
Restore a broken heart.

Love me back together
take these parts of me
and sew them to your side
never releasing me back
to there (where I am scared)
I never want to be away from you.
Love, break the bonds of boundaries,
security laid in broken places.
Let me find rest in You alone!
Let the hands that made me, hold me,
and rebuild me, to belong wholy to You, Love!

Blackpool- Weatherspoons Pub

69p
for a cup o' Joe,
Swell deal if you ask me!
Better then Starbucks
where it costs an arm and a knee.
It is almost worth it though!

Setting off to pastures new...an ode to England

I'm setting off to pastures new
Where I'll end up, I've not a clue.
I will not look at whats behind
But keep you always in my mind.

And it's there you'll be
forever living, forever free
to dance, roam, and dine
throughout all my lifetime.
I will not forget the prints you've left
on my heart, they are forever kept
there they remain, and there they will stay
Until we meet again, one fine day.
Until then, on my journey I'll be
and if you ever think of me
know that I am secure
where the winds have taken me is pure
don't worry, love, I'll find a way,
to be with you, one fine day!

Wishies in the wind...

Wishies in the wind.
floating,
on this seemingly endless air,
drifting, ever so slightly,
to an edge that has no name.
This is where I've ended up.
Like a wishy in the wind...
blown about, here and there, going with wind that knows only motion.
and soaring without a definate direction,
hoping someday to land in arms that hold my heart
steady, and strong.
wavering, but not weak, I stand, just to fly again.

Kiss the rain

life is...
Life is short, and then you die.
at least thats what "they" say.
then why don't I just wave good-bye
to this dark and calloused day.

It is easy to be sad, when you have tears to cry
It is easy to laugh, when all is okay
Sometimes it is hard to not wonder why
we always seem to throw life away.
So I will sit and reminice the tears,
I will swim in all my fears,
Until I smile again
I will stand and kiss the rain.

Stars...

I breathe, this still air, my chest inflates, my heart awakes, it is night!!
the moon and stars glitter in parade, dancing and singing as they wave at me from on high.
Oh sometimes how I wish I could be those stars. Just to get away from all of this for a while. I can imagine what child would stare out the window at night, stumble upon me, and gaze, at the lonely star.
but me, I am better then a star, for they were made without real purpose. Where as me, I was made with a soul, ready to love and live, all to honor my Maker.
So, I am glad I am not a star, no matter how fun it would be. I am glad I am me, because there is no one else I can ever be.